Modelling flexibility

Model flexible thinking aloud

Show how you can adjust to small changes, like saying, "There’s no cheese, but that’s okay, I’ll have a ham sandwich."

Praise small successes

Phrases such as, "Well done for picking up the strawberry” or "I noticed you listened when the plan changed" to focus on the child trying, not just achieving the outcome.

Reduce time pressure

Give plenty of time for different activities so the child doesn’t feel rushed or stressed.

Count-up timers can be more helpful than ‘countdown’.

Avoid sudden surprises

Even if they're fun, be mindful that the novelty and excitement of unexpected changes can be distressing.

Build in breaks

Create breaks between activities so the child can rest and recharge for the next thing.

Let them express resistance

Let your child share if they don’t want to do something or feel upset about change. Instead of trying to make them feel better right away, try to understand what makes them feel this way.

For example, if they don’t want to go to the supermarket, try to seek the reasons, rather than accept their refusal.

Reassure them

Offer comfort and consistency such as "Even if the plan changes, I’ll be with you, and we’ll figure it out."