Supporting fussy or selective eating

Most children go through phases of fussy eating, especially in their early years.

For neurodivergent children, these phases can be more intense and last longer, often linked to sensory sensitivities, anxiety, or a need for routine and control.

Selective eating is not about being 'naughty' or difficult. It’s often the child’s way of coping with overwhelming sensations or uncertainty.

What you might notice

  • refusal to try new foods (food neophobia)
  • only eating a small number of 'safe' foods
  • refusing food based on brand, colour, or how it’s served
  • avoiding mixed foods (for example pasta with sauce, sandwiches)

What can help

Here are some gentle strategies that may encourage a more varied diet over time, without causing distress:

Keep offering, without pressure

It can take 10 to 20 exposures to a new food before a child might accept it.

Let them see and smell it, tasting may come later.

Offer small portions

Tiny amounts feel more manageable. Praise any attempt, even just touching or smelling a new food.

Eat together when possible

Children learn by watching. Family-style meals give opportunities to model enjoyment of different foods.

Create routine

Serve meals and snacks at regular times to build predictability and appetite.

Don’t reward with food

Avoid saying “if you eat your peas, you can have pudding”. It can make vegetables feel like a punishment. Praise behaviour instead.

Respect food preferences

You can gently encourage variety while still honouring your child’s comfort foods. Balance is more important than perfection.

Involve them in food choices

Let your child help plan meals or prepare food. Even simple tasks like stirring or washing fruit can increase familiarity and reduce anxiety.

Neurodiversity-specific considerations

For autistic children, food rigidity may stem from sensory overload or a need for sameness. Be patient and don’t assume they will 'grow out of it'.

For children with ADHD, impulsivity and appetite changes may affect eating habits, especially if on medication.

Support

If selective eating is affecting your child’s health or wellbeing, ask your school nurse, GP or Family Hub for advice.

Some families may benefit from support with:

  • feeding routines
  • sensory integration strategies
  • advice from a Dietitian or Occupational Therapist