How to manage emotional crisis

Emotional crisis can quickly become out of control and feel overwhelming for the person experiencing it and those around them.

Use the following 4 questions when managing an emotional crisis:

  1. What am I feeling now?
  2. What does the child feel, need or want?
  3. How is the environment affecting the young person?
  4. How do I best respond?

Things you can do to support your child

Consider the following strategies, if the emotional crisis (outburst or shut down) occurs:

  • frequently
  • at a similar time
  • before/after a particular event

Trigger diary - explore the underlying cause

Explore the underlying cause of the outburst such as:

  • external factors - the environment or behaviours of others
  • internal factors - interoceptive awareness or previous experiences

Listen to your child

Listen and accept your child’s experience and emotions, understand in terms of the child’s history and present situation.

Show that you are listening and understand their viewpoint by repeating what they are saying in your own words.

Help build skills

Support your child build skills to help to recognise and verbalise emotional buildup.

Reassuring your child

Reassure and let them know that their feelings and thoughts make sense in the situation.

This makes the child feel valued and understood. It encourages them to express themselves, providing more opportunity for understanding of their needs.

Understanding what happened

Be curious and wonder aloud with the child about what happened.

Help the child to recognise what is happening inside their body and link it to emotions.

Help the young person to identify the differences between similar emotions.

Knowing the emotion means that the best strategy can be used to manage it. For example:

  • hunger (drink)
  • tiredness (rest)
  • boredom (thinking activity)
  • anxiety (calming activity)

Create a safe space

Check what’s around you and decide if you need to move items to make it safer/less stressful.

For example, remove items that could be dangerous if thrown, pad hard surfaces with cushions if the person is likely to bang their head.

Communication

Too much talking can be overwhelming when we are feeling distressed. Keep communication simple and to a minimum.

Self-regulation

Accept that sometimes self-regulation strategies differ. Keep an open mind, encourage the child to explore what works for them.

Teaching self-regulation may take a very long time – be patient and practice.