Parent and Teen Conflict

Conflict happens because your child is becoming an independent and responsible young person, they have their own perspective and preferences and will naturally push the boundaries parents set.

It isn't a calm and sunny relationship with a parent that gives a teenager the strength he or she needs. It is an open, trusting relationship that offers respect even in the face of heated disagreement. These conflicts often help teens hone their distinctive identities, but you should follow some general rules:

Avoid humiliation. Shaming your son or daughter by outlining their faults will reinforce divisions between you.
Don't Judge. Teenagers list "being judged" as among their pet peeves with parents. Judging and listening are mutually exclusive.
Try not to minimise problems. Avoid saying things such as "You'll forget all about this in no time", or, "You're too young to be serious about this". Instead say: "Yes, this makes sense to me" (not "I feel the same" or "I know just what you mean").
Show your interest. Skip over the tension between you and focus on something positive. Offer to help with practical things, such as getting them the school supplies they need or buying a magazine or book you know they would like.
Present a different perspective. "What about looking at it another way?" is more likely to be accepted than "That's not how it is".
Explain negative responses. When you object to something your child says or wants to do, explain your response in terms of your feelings and beliefs. "when you talk to me like that I feel..." rather than, "you have a bad attitude".

Teenager Boundaries at Home

Setting boundaries for your teen is an essential part of parenting and a teenager's natural instinct is to push the boundaries that their parents set. Having firm boundaries teaches teens that they have responsibilities and that their actions have consequences. That sets them up to take a place in society and the workplace where they know that there are limits and they cannot just behave in any way they choose without possible repercussions. So, as difficult as those battles with your teenager may be, it is vital that they know where they stand.